What God Wants

God wants all of me. Every part of me. But he doesn't just want me, he desires me. we always think we are the ones with the desires. God gave us desires, so we should desire him and we should, but our creator desires his creation, and there comes a time when he will take what desires he has given to us and fill our hearts with a sole desire for him. i can easily go ahead and say its happening to me. you know this is happening to you when your heart hurts for God and you physically and mentally feel weak. when i came home i couldn't figure out why God would take all my friends to different countries this summer, in other words, away from me! why would he keep me completely alone? it took nights of painfully lonely tears to realize he didn't leave me alone, he left me to himself.

knowing that i would have God to myself now with no distractions, you would think i'd be a saint or something by now. quite the contrary. God doesn't just want time, that isn't his entire goal, he wanted to isolate me, and take me away from the friends who so strongly pull the strings of my heart and weigh it down with their love and care. tearing me away from such people has ripped my heart in two jagged pieces. he wants to set fire to the life i'm living. but being in the midst of such a fire can only be taken in as a sign of unbelievable grace and mercy that only God the Father.